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My String of Success with Disliked or Confusing Titles Continues!

By Oniwasabi, author of The Monster They Deserve

Dec 14, 2014: So, I don’t like the title of this story. I even had a conversation with the author in the comments section of . . . chapter 8? About how I don’t like the title of this story. You might love the title, and that’s fine. The title of my review is there because I have started to actively seek out titles on WFG that annoy or confuse me, since so far all of those have turned out to be a pretty good read at the very least!

So like the title or hate it, either way it’s a pretty good story so far!

I like that this story does NOT spend a lot of time setting up the world as we’re kind of thrown in with our characters more or less as a ‘now joining our story, already in progress" sort of way. It’s first person perspective, and the author is doing a GOOD job so far of remembering that first person perspective does not always know what every other character is really thinking about. The main character develops depth quickly, the superheroics are quickly stepped into without a long winding path (sometimes that long winding path can be good, but it wouldn’t work at all for a story like this one, IMO) And the main character’s personal crisis (she discovers she’s a lesbian! which should shock absolutely no one if they actually read the description and tags). The impetus that gets the character to realize her orientation works well in the story. There is a bit of back and forth where the characters can’t seem to decide how serious or how humorous things need to be (the addition of The Banana in the current latest chapter may be the swing too far in the ‘humor for the sake of humor" direction) but it mostly strikes a good balance. There’s a lot of depth to the characters, even those we’re only seeing a limited slice of through the eyes of our narrating protagonist, and through that depth there’s also an impression that there is a large and well developed world occurring in the background that we mostly aren’t really paying attention to due to first person narration!

A few negatives: Some of the characters really don’t feel like their motivation makes sense (or exists at all). One of our protagonist’s teammates . . .  I cannot for the life of me come up with a reason why he’d choose to be a superhero. I’m hoping this gets addressed in some way in the banter the team regularly engages in. Some of the interplay between characters is a little bit TOO cliche, it works really well up to a point but a few times I was starting to get tired of it (fortunately it stopped pretty quickly after the ‘getting old’ part, so still not bad!) There was also one point (Beautiful Lesbian Werewolf!) where the chapter ends on a note where extra information is coming from the first person narrator with no way they should have that information, in context of what’s currently known (how can you tell the Beautiful Werewolf is also a Lesbian on sight?), though this information is immediately supplied to start the following chapter. It’s the sort of lapse that’s easy to have creep into first person narratives, where the character is supplying information that they don’t appear to have access to yet. If this is happening mid-chapter and the explanation is happening on the following line, not really a problem. If this starts cropping up more consistently at the END of chapters, where it will be at least several days before you can learn HOW the main character knows that thing they just stated, it’s a little more vexing. Something I hope the author watches out for in the future.

TL:DR version: I didn’t like the title, but the rest was definitely worth reading and I’ll be checking back for the updates for at least until something new and extra shiny distracts me!

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