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This Sin Eater is stuffed with exposition.

By Patrick Rochefort, member

Jun 29, 2015: 2 out of 5 stars

The Good: Solid editing, grammar, spelling. It’s clear that the author is taking their time and copy-editing thoroughly. The premise is simple and solid: A woman in a car accident sells her soul to the Devil to preserve and protect the life of her son. She ends up recruited by the Devil as a "Sin Eater", tasked with murdering and eating the sinful.

The Bad: The Sin of Exposition, show, don’t tell. And boy howdy does this story want to tell, and tell, and tell at length. I slogged through five chapters, but I was already groaning by the end of the first. Anytime, as a reader, that I’m counting the paragraphs since the last time I saw a line of dialogue? That’s bad.

We’re subjected to a fair number of paragraphs about hypotheticals: Paragraphs about the ‘usual’ routine of a person, but those normal routines have no bearing on the story. Character description of the protagonist is provided by the mirror method. There’s a lot of digressions that don’t do anything to feed the story, while opportunities for dialogue that could establish characterization are tossed away repeatedly.

The Ugly: I had a difficult time navigating the website at first. The gray-on-black header made the text uninteresting to the eye, so I spent a bit of time searching for the link to the Table of Contents before I found it. I’d recommend a higher contrast on the design.

Happily, that’s the only ‘Ugly’ to name. Punctuation, grammar, spelling, those are all in order.

Overall: I cannot recommend this webserial. The level of exposition, and the ‘all tell, no show’ made this boring and aggravating to read. However, I think that with a thoughtful rewrite to step away from the exposition would reveal a story with power and teeth. The premise is impeccable, but the narrative execution is just all wrong.

2 of 3 members found this review helpful.
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