With 9 parts available (into chapter 2), I want to say a selfish prayer for light is worth a look.  I want to, but I just can’t quite get myself there.

I’m going to tell you very little about the story, as the author has gone to lengths to reveal things slowly, and I don’t want to undo any of that work.  What I will say is that, despite the Underworld quality of the opening page, this is interplanetary science fantasy, with a strong religious element.  The religion itself is rather creepy (intentionally so, I’m pretty sure), and, in some ways, seems almost a physical addiction for its followers.  Political machinations abound, and there’s a lot of texture to the world. 

This is all good stuff, and, in most stories, would get a good review from me.

The problem I’m having is that the prose itself—especially in the opening parts—is violently purple.  Descriptions of thoughts and facial expressions and emotions are almost invariably over-the-top, and are, at times, very nearly inscrutable.  For example: "In the instant between the fulsome truth of jaws piercing deep into her side and the undeniable dark of night, Ariadne fell into a space of comfort from a hesitant, reverent caress along the length of her scars."  Um, sure.  Whatever.  I had to read this in context three times before I even figured out how to parse it.

It’s clear the author has a big vocabulary.  Unfortunately, she seems to feel the need to show it off in every sentence.  The result is clumsy-feeling prose that seemingly would rather try to impress than communicate.  My personal feeling is that a good vocabulary is not its own excuse—one should have good reasons for using uncommon words and phrasing.  Plain speech is a good thing, especially in fiction.

Unfortunately, as written, I found the story a tough slog.  I will say it got better by the end of the first chapter, and maybe it will continue to do so.  Everything above the words is solid—characterization, attention to detail, plotting.  If the author can just get the language issues under control, things could turn out quite well.

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