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Oh my god. Just… oh my god.

By Rhythm, author of Touch

Dec 13, 2017: Wow, where do I even start? You NEED to read this. Oh my GOD you need to read this. For so many reasons.

Saying that, I need to point out that my recommendation is not because this is a good story. There are elements you will struggle with. The grammar is horrible, the syntax is worse, and every chapter is in dire need of an edit. No joke, I found chapter ten legitimately unreadable. But if you can look past that, you will see something beautiful.

Our story follows Dylan, a gap year student working as a tour guide on what I think is a cruise ship. I’m not one hundred percent sure on this because the ship is destroyed by something resembling Cthulhu before the question becomes relevant. What follows is something that I will unflinchingly describe as a romp. She boards a lifeboat, gets stranded at sea, fights some vikings, then some sharks, and at one point talks to a random guy in a suit for a bit. That is all I can really remember right now because, despite having read the whole thing in the last fifty odd minutes, it moves at such a breakneck pace that I found myself struggling to keep up even as it was happening.

I will say straight out that this story carries my recommendations in part because of its brevity. If you are like me, a full read through will take you less than an hour and it will be thoroughly enjoyable. The writing is atrocious, but the concepts are ridiculously fun.

Quite honestly, I think the author has a lot of potential. Under the shattered sentences and the not insubstantial repetition, I can see a genuinely dry wit and some truly engaging humor. I think the author badly needs a course in grammar and sentence structure, and maybe needs to slow down a bit so their writing isn’t so incredibly fast paced, but I suffered from a lot of the same problems when I started.

Frankly, this is not what I would call a great story, but it has a wonderful, B-movie charm that I cannot deny is engaging as all hell.

One last thing before I conclude. This novel is called Adventures in The Pirate Continent. Given that, I find the lack of any pirates besides the aforementioned vikings to be a little odd.

Anyways, take an hour, pour yourself something you like to drink, and enjoy this delightfully entertaining mess!

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