Assessment:
Overall rating (3 votes)
No recommendations.
Chronos Chronicles
A serialized novel, updating weekly.
Chronos Chronicles is about a woman, a likely hero. Chronos finds herself in middle America some 100 years after a nuclear war.
What has happened to the United States of America? What has happened to the Earth? In this new time she must make her way with all of the new skills and technology that she has been given. Through this changing place, she knows that someone or something is guiding her. She has free will, but there is a something that wants her there.
Follow her adventures as she makes her way across the landscape of the strange, the familiar. Creating chaos to save the day.
Chronos Chronicles
— contains some graphic sex and graphic violence —
Tags: adventure online novels post-apocalyptic science fiction
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Editorial Reviews
A little disjointed…
(Review written after reading 18 chapters).
I won’t harp on the spelling and grammar mistakes - the other reviews have mentioned them already. The story could do with with an editor, or even a better self-edit by the author - both of which are perfectly achievable, so that’s all I’ll say on the matter.
A year would really help me to figure out the story - it’s obviously far into the future - so far so that it’s 100 years after a war that has apparently destroyed pretty much everything. Yet . . . pop-culture references are still thrown around (Guinevere I can understand - Arthurian mythos is timeless), but "Annie", the play? I’m not sure that’s going to stand the test of time and nuclear winter.
Plot-wise, we’re introduced to this ragged group of survivalists, and an interesting post-post-apocalyptic scenario . . . but that’s dropped for a kidnapping plot (doing so is quite strange, if I may say so), in which Chronos proceeds to be clever, and strong, and rescue people . . . unfortunately, I have to agree with Sonja’s assessment that she reads very much like a Mary Sue.
There’s also the issue of the main character (no, not that she spends the early chapters in a nightgown) and her time travelling - apparently the explosion that sent her travelling through space and time was gentle enough not to injure her (or her upgrades).
There are certain lines of dialogue that try to be witty, but just come off as dry, or awkward.
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Um.
I honestly don’t know where to begin, especially since I could barely make it past the first paragraph of the prologue. However, like a good little reviewer, I struggled through the first five chapters before I finally stopped.
The fact that it was written in present tense bugged me (personal preference), but, as some probably know, I can look past that if it is done well.
This was not done well.
Words are regularly missing from their sentences. Words are constantly misspelled. Punctuation is a dim and distant idea that hovers in the background. Sentence fragments litter the entire narrative. The prose could use a lot of tightening. The passive tense is used too often to the point of clumsiness. The writing is repetitive.
When I review, I attempt to be fair. Even as I slogged my way through the first five chapters, I looked for something good. I hoped the plot would make up for the bad writing.
It didn’t.
The story attempts to start off with a "bang" as the protagonist goes off to stop a bomb.
In her nightgown.
Because "Universal Defenders" don’t need equipment or shoes for terrorist bomb threats, apparently.
This bomb blows up and sends her to earth.
Still in her all revealing nightgown.
I saw where this was going, and cringed.
The situation is entirely unbelievable and the protagonist herself is even more so, who reads more as a Mary Sue than a real person. When she introduces herself as a "knight" and "warrior" she silences the room, presumably because she is "sooo weird." The author attempts to make her cool by describing her dialog as "blaise" or "flippant", and fails dismally.
Again, I’ve only read the first five chapters. Maybe it gets better further on. Perhaps the author manages to salvage the story and turn it into a true diamond.
However it is so poorly written I have zero desire to find out.
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Most Helpful Member Reviews
It’s not necessarily bad, but…
To be honest, I liked the opening paragraphs and they really brought me into the story, however . . . it kind of fell apart for me when the character started talking (even if it was under her breath). It seemed like she was trying to be witty in her speech and mannerisms, but there was something about the way she acted that made her unlikeable for me. She seemed a little bit too into herself to identify with. Things like this "I am so pleased by that thought that I applaud (my) own cleverness" flirt dangerously close between sarcasm and arrogance, almost blending together to the point that it’s hard to read the lines and figure out the tone of the story and the characterization of the main character. She could be likable if the subtext and tone were there.
I typically don’t read the first five chapters, but instead I skip and hop around looking for something that I can sink my teeth into. In the world of web novels, it’s possible to do that. I know I’m a bad reader, but when a premise sounds interesting, but doesn’t deliver in the first couple chapters, I start looking for something redeemable in the later chapters and just start from there. Eventually the story evens itself out and everything makes sense. It seems like the story does get more interesting, although in the later chapters it a bit more dialogue driven more or so than anything.
The story has potential. All it needs is a some focus and some hardcore editing. Possibly some character cuts because it’s hard to figure out who is who and what role they play in the story. I recommend that the author find a beta who can help strengthen the piece and tighten the prose.
Is it a bad story? Not at all. Like I said the story has potential and it’s definitely not the worst story I’ve read. This sort of falls in the middle of the spectrum. It’s not as good as some stories, but it’s definitely better than a lot of stories I’ve read.
Do I like it? I like it well enough.
Could I read it every day? I might just pop in every once in a while and see how the characters are doing.
My overall rating is a 2.5. If the author could find a dedicated beta and tighten the prose and punctuation, the rating will most likely be higher in the future.
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