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When Angels and Grades Fall

By Patrick Rochefort, member

Jun 26, 2015: 1.5 out of 5 stars.

The good: The premise of a young girl selected by a celestial being to be his personal angel was engaging and interesting.

The bad: I slogged it out for the prologue and five entries, before I gave up.

The ugly: Ultimately, I can forgive the spelling errors. I can overlook the occasional broken formatting (because we’ve ALL had those battles with WordPress breaking our work).

But this story is all tell and no show.

Exposition happens, but dialogue is skipped. Narrative proclamations of awareness are evoked, but never explained. I’m left being given summary explanations of conversations that could be used to establish characterization.

Words are spent on description of items and places without any apparent relevance to the plot.

Most damning of all: As a reader, I find myself wishing for dialogue. There’s entire entries where dialogue is practically nonexistent; just paragraph after paragraph of unrelenting exposition and description.

When I finally got nothing but in entry 4, it’s a chatroom, without any indication of who the characters are or why I should care, and their conversation isn’t especially interesting, nor does it do much to drive the plot.

Entry 5 finally holds some promise, but the story is still stumbling on basic issues of technical english, such as proper punctuation, formatting, and narrative crafting.

All in all, I cannot recommend this serial, but it is clear to me that the author is working hard to revise and improve. I’ll keep an eye out for Taulsn’s future works.

4 of 5 members found this review helpful.
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