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It’s off to a good start

By Oniwasabi, author of The Monster They Deserve

Jun 27, 2014: It’s 14 chapters into the ‘prologue’ segment of the story so far (at the time of this review at least) and the story seems promising. The characters that we’ve interacted with for more than a couple lines of descriptive text all have unique personalities (I personally like the super villain’s dialogue so far, the cross between evil overlord and businessman approach has been done before but there’s a reason for that, and it’s well done in this story) and the interactions between those characters are pretty believable (important because interpersonal relationships are NOT the part of superhero fiction that should ever stress suspension of disbelief ^_^). I’m also a fan of the main character’s very much OTHER than normal power set, and enjoy the conflict that his ability creates and the way both the super powered community and his family handle it in a believable manner.

My biggest gripe with the story thus far: There are way too many telepaths. I’m not sure if this is going to be a long running theme, but when we’re in the prologue and we already have one main and one potentially-main character that can read your mind and rewrite it (plus several other telepaths of unknown overall ability level) and a large amount of the conflict our protagonist has had to deal with so far is the eternally infuriating puzzle of "Am I really thinking that, or are they influencing my mind? Are they controlling me? My family?" etc. It all makes SENSE in the story so far, I want to be clear on that, but I’m really hoping that the story can move away from all the mentalist shenanigans quickly because they really aren’t the most interesting characters and the unsolvable puzzle isn’t a compelling conflict for long.

TL,DR version: It’s off to a good start. If you like non-standard super hero fiction, read it.

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