Aug 8, 2016: The Good: Once it finds its feet, this story has some literary charm and chops to it. It certainly isn’t plot-driven, but it’s very good at inducting us into the mind of the protagonist, a very young man in Florida in the 1980’s as he wrestles with a growing awareness of girls and a growing awareness of the character flaws of his father.
The Bad: Some parts of it are rather overwritten, and I’m not sure if this author just despises commas or refuses to use them. Many sentences are left begging for a breath mid-way through. Some lines are unintentionally laugh-out-loud funny, like "Florida cold is like no other cold you’ve ever felt and we could feel the shocking sip of the frigid sea on the salt choked wind."
The Ugly: The site is, unsurprisingly after this many years, in something of a shambles. I had to read the story off of the PDF link, none of the individual chapter pages worked. However, I’m halfway through the story and I’ve yet to note a typo or error.
Overall: I’m four chapters in and, despite the frequently over-precious line, I like it. The intensity of the zeitgeist of the tale is palpable, and I found myself smiling and just plain liking the protagonist.
3 stars out of 5.
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