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The main character is a jerk. Her friends are nice, though.

By Underwhelming Force, author of Sins of the Fathers

Mar 6, 2014: [edit as of march 19 2014] The League of Prey has been discontinued in favor of the author’s other projects.

[Original Review] I first approached the League of Prey with interest, because the concept was if not original than at least a new enough take to catch my eye. Yet I found my interest waning when the main character is introduced. I found that not only could I not identify with her, I actually didn’t like her. She’s not sarcastic, she’s just cynical and disrespectful with little reason. She’s obviously intelligent, but lacks the willpower to explore on her own and as a result, her character is apathetic and bored. I found her friends to be sympathetic and compelling, though, so I kept reading, hopeful that they would be a good influence on her.

When the main plot begins, however, I expected her to get more interested and thereby more interesting. What happened instead was she got manipulative and whiny, manipulating her own friends into immoral behavior and becoming sullen and petulant when they don’t want to comply. When I expected her to gain some independance from the people she claimed to not care about at all, she became suddenly clingy and desperate for their attention. She’s a well-written character if this was the intent, but I don’t like her, and frankly I can’t see why her friends stick around.

There’s a lot of room for development because of this, though. My advice for the author, don’t have her take her friends sometimes. Do it solo- the team isn’t necessisary and has actually been a liability. Let the experience change her, give her strength, not make her weaker. Let her find her element and start to gain some willpower to stand up to others and let her friends see this. This will gain them respect for her and give them a reason to stay around her. Then have them find out, and bring the house of cards crashing down around her. I would read that. What you have now is an apathetic cynic bullying and bribing her "friends" into stealing for her. Honestly, right now, the main character is the antagonist, I my mind. Her friends are the characters I really care about.

I don’t know if I would recommend reading this one until the author works out some of the kinks, but if you want to read it and see what you think, please do. It’s a good start, but it still has places it needs to go.

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