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can a story be overintellectualized?

By Fiona Gregory, editor

Jul 8, 2009: This should be an interesting topic for a story. Maybe the over explanation of the concept in the prologue was a warning sign. The author has clearly thought this out carefully, but, as a result, may have overintellectualized it at the expense of story elements.

Technically, there’s nothing to reproach in terms of sentence structure, grammar, etc, but, in the end, the story didn’t hold my interest. After some initial disbelief and surprise, life as a cloned pair for Donald North times two is unfolding fairly sedately. The chapters are mainly made up of intellectual discussions between the characters, hashing over what MAY happen, rather than the plot being used to show us something actually happening. Several chapters in, the biggest debate for the new pair of clones was still what to call each other. This is where I stopped reading; so the story may eventually reward those with more patience.

As a point of interest, this may be the only story on Web Fiction Guide that is presented bilingually in both English and Esperanto – the international language that was designed with the ideal of everyone communicating on an equal level.

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