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Editor’s First Impression

By Chris Poirier, editor

Dec 4, 2011: The opening chapters—and much of the narrative, in fact—are very loosely written. Most of the first chapter, for instance, involves the main character getting out of his car and crossing a ditch . . . described in lifeless, repetitive-sounding, declarative sentences. It’s not a short chapter, either.

My recollection of Pay Me, Bug!, the author’s previous work, was that it relied much more on dialogue than narrative, and perhaps that is why it felt so much tighter. There are such sections in The Points Between, where things seem to liven up, but the loose, very self-conscious narrative always eventually returns.

Unfortunately, the story needs some significant editing before I can recommend it to an audience.

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