Jan 21, 2017: This story contains a very intriguing premise, however it lacks flow from time to time, thus leaving the reader in confusion as to how the characters actions connect. Some of the character backstory seems inconsistent, whether this is intentional or not has yet to be seen as this story is still far too short to be able to tell. I however remain optimistic about it. Perhaps wait til there are more chapters available so as to avoid confusion but all in all a very intriguing start.
1 – Horrid awful no good
5 – Neutral
10 – Superb beyond imagining
Plot 6 of 10
Reasons: Itriguing but so far short and a bit inconsistent. The main character is a summoned-from-another-world hero with a suitably OP -but also overly taxing ability- with seemingly no solid goals other than attaching himself to a strange cloaked figure – who he then adopts as a little brother- and running away from people trying to harm him and his ‘brother’.
Characters 6 of 10
Reasons: Not terribly remarkable one way or the other so far, but I do find the protagonist’s protectiveness of his ‘little brother’ to be endearing. Overall really too short for character judgement axes to be hefted.
World-building 7 of 10
Reasons: Not completely original but definitely has its quirks and intrigues that give it a stand out (see seemingly elaborate rune system).
Grammar 5 of 10
Reasons: No horrid awful errors but the occasional typo and awkward phrasing is there.
Flow 4 of 10
Reasons: The author sometimes forgets that others have to comprehend how a character got from point a to point b. It is by no means impossible to parse, however there are enough inconsistencies that filling the holes within becomes a bit taxing and distracting.
Total 28 of 50
Final word: Given that this is still a rather young story some of the inconsistencies could smooth out over time and I remain hopeful.
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