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Interesting Characters… Erractic Story Pacing

By Scott Scherr, author of Don't Feed The Dark

Aug 13, 2017: Note: I’ve read all nineteen chapters currently available and still feel like this story is in the early stages of development. Keeping that in mind, I’ll focus on the build up.

The Revelation starts with its first character, Fiona Carter, having one helluva apocalyptic-type nightmare that clearly foreshadows some major events to come, which future chapters also elude to. Afterwards, we discover that these nightmares are reoccurring and that Fiona is a bit more than just your average everyday girl. In fact, many of the characters that follow are not your typical characters (I’m trying not to spoil anything). After a chapter with her ‘on the job’ she ends up receiving a strange package which ends up resulting with her undergoing hypnosis . . . and that’s when things get really strange. From there, the story jumps around, introducing other characters in different locations and it gets a little confusing keeping up with all these character switches all at once, until they all end up in the same place.

I was initially confused about said characters, since the writer doesn’t make their uniqueness obvious, but after finding the ‘character’ description notes at the top of the webpage, I was caught up to speed. Which makes me have to point out that without the character description page, I would have had trouble understanding ‘hybrids’, since very little is discussed about them so far. But what I did enjoy was how normal the writer treated these ‘hybrids’ as just part of everyday life in the world that he’s created, giving them personalities first, rather than putting emphasis on their differences, which might have made them feel less believable.

As for the rest, as much as I enjoy a good multi-character story, I did find the plot a bit jarring at times, with the abundance of character jumps, but the characters themselves were very interesting, bringing their own set of strengths and flaws to the table, that I believe the writer brings out very well in various situations. I especially enjoyed the character of Roderigo Somers, who suffers from a form of schizophrenia that has him often questioning his reality around him.

As mentioned, this story feels like its just getting started but I liked the build up in general and it looks like things are about to get dark. I would have just liked a little less character switches so early, and time to get to know each character a bit more before switches without the writer having to slow down the pace of the tale each time another character was introduced. I found that this distracted more from the plot rather than adding to it.

That being said, I think this story has the potential to be very interesting now that all the characters have been introduced and placed and I’m curious to see what develops.

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