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Solid work, but lots of rookie mistakes

By TanaNari, author of Price

Aug 11, 2017: It’s hard to discuss The Revelation without going into heavy spoilers territory, but I’ll see what I can do. The writing is solid, the characters are interesting, and the author put a lot of effort into making the world feel authentic . . . but for the pacing, and the cat-people.

It hits the ground running with a confusing, trippy sequence that it doesn’t take long for an astute reader to recognize as a nightmare sequence, which is used effectively as a means to get the reader primed for future supernatural weirdness.

Then . . . it grinds to a halt . . . with a remarkably in-depth and loving exploration of the presumed main character’s career studying extinct sharks at a museum. A lot of effort clearly went into this chapter (or maybe the author works with sharks in a museum?), but after what seem to be prophetic dreams, it feels unnecessary.

NOTE: After receiving feedback, the author has gone back and done a lot of editing to fix the pacing and disjointed chapters. While pacing still needs some work, it is much better than it was, so I’ve come back to update my review as well the rating. By deleting the paragraphs here discussing flaws in pacing that no longer exist.

Good on the author for taking criticism to heart.

The catgirls are still completely out of place, however. Not explained in the story at all, it’s like cat-people are just a thing that exists there, in the same way our world had different skin colors. Frankly, it adds a cartoonish element to an otherwise dark and foreboding (and sometimes crude and violent) atmosphere. Imagine watching a cartoon version of The Exorcist, with Minnie Mouse playing Regan and Mickey as the priest. Now imagine it’s not for comedic purposes.

Still, for all its flaws, it’s an interesting read with a non-campy approach to the supernatural horror tropes, and with some time taken to fix the pacing and transitions (and explain or remove the catgirls), it would be a worthwhile read.

But for now, I can only really recommend it to people who like the concept and can overlook the design flaws. Certainly, the author should continue writing. Lot of potential in the prose, just the usual rookie mistakes with planning the story.

EDIT: With the pacing problems corrected, the story should be more enjoyable for a wider audience. It’s still a dark supernatural story with plenty of gore to go around, so it will never be everyones cup of tea (then again, what is?), but it’s now a worthwhile read for those who love the genre.

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