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A Garmonbozia Masterpiece

By SovereignofAshes, author of The Vorrgistadt Saga

May 24, 2018: Disclaimer: This review was done as part of a review swap.

First Impressions: Well, golly geez there, eh? What do you get when you mix the Golden Age of Comics with a disc-worth of a drunk Ex-CIA Analyst’s memoirs thrown together with a damn fine cup of coffee? You get this story, surely. Whether you’re still hyped for Aldous Huxley to write Alice in Wonderland as a political warning, or you’re waiting for Hunter S. Thompson to finish writing up the next Avengers movie script, this story will scratch your many itches while you wait.

I still don’t know why Asia cracked off from the earth, but I’m quite sure it has to do with the disappearance of Laura Palmer. The only person who knows the dastardly plots of Julius Jericho is the master of horripilation, Doc Mars (also known as the third Coen Brother, or the turtle creature—who somehow survived, odd that—from Eraserhead). Come to the Black Lodge and let us watch old Adventures of Superman episodes from the 50’s.

Content: Words fail me as I try to sum up this masterpiece of superhero fiction. You’ll find yourself thrust into the high-stakes and cordially polite adventures of Tomorrow Girl. You’ll get to know many and diverse sets of characters and a great many forms of alliterative J-names.

You’ll be on the edge of your seat, provided you have one. Every chapter refines and focuses the plot of this story like a kryptonite laser aimed right at General Zod’s plentiful alien jewels. Thrills, chills, and even incontinent spills await you on this journey of the ages. I don’t know how the author manages it, but this story is both perfect for young children as a bed-time tale, and a thrilling erotic romp for a typical Wattpad reader (Chuck Tingle would be pleased).

Particulars: The author has very good spelling overall. I can only give the work a 9/10 for grammar, however. Semi-colons, emdashes, and complex sentence structures abound and are painted artfully across the screen. The author is like a Bob Ross of diction, hiding little happy surprises around every corner. Sadly, there are some commas that have run away to have their fill of rum.

The chapters are brief and the work is very high-concept. You won’t have to worry too much about heavy descriptions or even what the protagonist really looks like, at least in the first few chapters if memory serves. This is a perfect story for those readers who enjoy letting their imagination run amok with sharp implements. There’s even plenty of room near the end of each chapter to write out your own added scenes!

Conclusion: This is without-a-doubt the finest work I’ve seen in the superhero genre and pushes the envelope to a brave new world of heights. Established authors like Wildbow should stand up and notice, as a new star is dawning on the horizon and it’s name is Tomorrow Girl. I dare say, this may even be the spiritual successor to works like Worm and Ward, but somehow do things that those previous works never could—that is, entertain so thoroughly that one may never need to read a superhero story ever again. "Surely not!" I hear you proclaim, as no matter how many stories in this genre there are on this site—and land-fill heaps more each day—you could never reach your fill. Aye, what I say is true, you’ll have to read this work and see for yourself.

If you’re a fan of the superhero genre, you have to treat yourself to this amazing piece of literature. If you’re like me and cringe at the thought of yet another dozen Justice League movies, you’ll still love this story to bits. If you’ve ever sat on David Lynch’s knee at a barbecue, well, you better read this story with a hefty portion of cream corn. Also, don’t visit Sioux Falls.

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