Assessment:
Overall rating (5 votes)
Recommended by Grace McDermott, Sarah Suleski, and 2 other members.
Unicorn Bait
A complete novel.
Naomi was in her kitchen, minding her own business, when all of a sudden she was chucked to another planet. As if that weren’t bad enough, she was attacked, betrayed, and married off against her will. That was on the first day. The next day was worse, much worse. Two words will suffice to describe the next day, and they are: killer kangeroos. If that doesn’t scare you off, then come follow Naomi as she seeks a unicorn to send her back home.
Unicorn Bait
— contains some graphic sex, graphic violence, and harsh language —
Tags: action adventure complete novels fantasy humor online novels past tense romance third person
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Editorial Reviews
Reader Bait
Unicorn Bait follows the adventure of Naomi, a bank teller in her mid-twenties, who is magically transported to another planet by a unicorn horn inherited from her grandfather.
The story starts very abruptly, at the exact moment of the transformation. I found this a little jarring, as I prefer highly character driven stories and so have trouble connecting with what is happening when I have no reference on the character. Who is this person and why should I care about her?
However I knew enough about where the story was going, from the blurb, that I was curious about the whole "marrying the scary guy" part to continue on. I’m glad I did. By Chapter 3 we are provided with some more information about Naomi and how she got into her predicament, and I as read on I grew to like the character. She’s snarky, and while she gets pushed around a lot, she doesn’t come off as a complete wet noodle. She has pluck, even when odds are against her and the only way to survive is to go along with things. So she spends a lot of time trussed up and made to do things against her will, but her spirit remains plucky and she’s always trying to figure out how to regain control.
The story really hits its stride in Chapter 9. Killer kangaroos, Mr. Squibbles, and Naomi’s hunk o’ burning love (with the Skeletor mask) all made for a fun adventure which carried me along till I ran out of updates.
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Blink your eyes and POOF!
I read the summary for the story first and then Sarah’s review above and I’m glad I did because I had some forewarning about the start of the work. I’m all for starting a story immediately but holy crap! SA has taken that literally! I mean literally, in the first sentence of the first chapter, full-force action. I was very thrown, even with the warning. I like the bit of backstory in the third chapter but if it were me, I would have moved that chapter to number one because I think there is enough of a hook in there, and just enough build-up, to keep the reader going. SA also has a great flow with her writing that seems to come naturally so wanting to continue onto the next chapter doesn’t seem to be an issue, at least for me.
Once you’re settled into the action, action, action, the story really takes off and if you’re at all confused as to what’s going on, don’t worry. Naomi is as well. She has no idea which way is up at this point. I like that we’re kept strictly within her point of view. It adds that much more "OMG, what’s going to happen???" to the story. I can never get enough of that. Things happen very quickly and in rapid succession so be prepared to keep up although if you start reading, I’m sure you won’t stop so that won’t be a problem.
Of course, me and my five post rule, I left off at a rather intriguing part. It seems this Agatha woman knows more than what she appears to know and I’m jonsing to find out what her role in all of this is, not to mention how Naomi’s grandfather came into possession of a unicorn horn that’s activated by blood. That also leads into just what kind of person that guy was and how no one else in the family knew about this. So many questions that I want answered. I guess I’m just going to have to keep reading to find out!
And so should you. If you’re looking for a light, fast-paced, action-filled, snarky MC-ed web serial, this one’s right up your alley and tapping on your shoulder.
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Most Helpful Member Reviews
Transported offsite
This is a great story – period. No ifs and buts in my opinion. For me, the master storyteller is one who knows how to keep us turning the pages, and SA Hunter does this brilliantly. There was no place where I thought I’d just keep going because I’d started. I don’t have that kind of time available and specifically not for reading from a screen.
Unicorn Bait dragged me along with action, humour and ever more inventive plot turns. I immediately felt I was with Naomi rather than reading about her, and began to be terminally linked to the other characters the moment the mouse started to talk. The characters are revealed in their actions and in how Naomi interacts with them. This kept me squarely in Naomi’s frame of reference. With a strong protagonist, I don’t want to be having my own impressions of the other characters. I want hers. Then I feel her feelings, and it all hangs together.
There have been suggestions that Naomi’s background could have been introduced earlier. However, that would have put me in her own world and led me to believe the story was set there. I probably wouldn’t have stayed, but if I had, changing later to another one would then have left me feeling I’d been misled. Much better, in my opinion, if stories deliver on what they promise in their opening. As it was, I found myself in the same state of uncertainty and disorientation as Naomi was in, fighting my way to some sort of understanding, as she was. Looking at this objectively, some kinds of stories use Action-Think-Reaction, but this kind of fast-moving narrative is probably much better supported by Action-Reaction-Think.
One technique SA has perfected is letting us know something has been decided but leaving us not knowing what or how till later when it’s happening. This, along with jumping to the next scene cleanly without lots of preparation, is a large part of the reason why it’s nearly impossible to stop reading.
So for my money, SA’s handling of the narrative has a feeling of authority and confidence. I loved it. I have surfaced after three sessions of totally focused reading feeling as if I have been where Naomi has been and seen what she saw. I am bereaved at her loss. I ask for nothing more in a story.
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