The protagonist in this story, Ajax, is a little bit on the overly snappy side, having said almost nothing nice to anyone in the story up to the point that I read, but it fits his state of mind quite well. His father and partner are losers who depend on him to feed THEM, instead of the other way around, and he is struggling with a plethora of problems that make his bitter mindset all the more justified. The story moves along fairly quickly, and the writer seems to have pretty good grasp on how to end each "Illumination" (the chosen word for chapters on the site) with a bit of suspense that makes you want to read the next one. Today I only meant to read the first, but just HAD to read the second, then the third, etc. The prose is witty and you almost get the feeling that the writer is in the same mindset as Ajax, which suits the story extremely well. The only downfall in the story that I see so far is that it’s kind of hard to relate to the character, with one bit of bad news after another and his rejection of helping hands with such a casual air, but overall this is worth reading and anyone who likes a witty, fantastical story should definitely give this a look. Chances are, the first section will make you want to read the second, and so on until you have to force yourself to walk away. Good job. Definitely deserving of at least four stars.
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Phantasia is a faerie, but she is a faerie unlike any other; she is unique, both in looks and in magical skills. Brought up by water faeries, always feeling a little misplaced, Phantasia struggles to determine who she is and where she belongs. This search for her identity ultimately leads her to a high school on Earth, where she begins posing as a student.
The author has clearly put much thought into world-building, particularly how the faerie domain differs from the human one. I like the differences between the various elemental faeries: water faeries are logical and able to read minds; fire faeries are passionate warriors; and so on. There are even differences in architecture, for example the water faeries’ home is filled with ankle-deep water.
What was disappointing was that all these interesting aspects about the faerie world are mentioned in passing, and never given enough depth. Chapter 1 ends with Phantasia deciding to visit the other faerie queendoms, but Chapter 2 begins with Phantasia’s return to the water faerie home. It is subsequently mentioned how much her journeying has helped Phantasia grow, and not having seen that growth first-hand is frustrating for the reader.
The prologue is confusing, and the first two chapters are perhaps misleading, as they give the reader an expectation that this will be an adventure story, not a school one. This transition would perhaps have been less jarring if the adventure scenes (a big battle, a search for the world’s axis) hadn’t been so rushed; the difference in pacing between the first two chapters and subsequent ones really highlights the shift in genre. It seems as though the author has so many ideas about what can happen next in the story, that each idea is not explored to its full potential.
The characters are a little difficult to connect with emotionally, which is possibly because Phantasia herself has problems identifying with those around her. Phantasia is well-characterized, but the story would benefit from giving secondary characters a little more depth. It doesn’t help that certain plot points (such as one of the faeries acting mysteriously) are just dropped as soon as Phantasia becomes involved in something else, without any indication that it will be picked up again in the future.
As for the writing itself, I think it could benefit from a little more emotion and suspense; the reader hardly ever feels concerned for the main character because the evil aspects are glossed over and the action scenes lack tension. For example, Phantasia herself, despite her protected upbringing, seems unmoved when witnessing a large-scale battle.
There are also a number of grammar and spelling mistakes, particularly punctuation errors. There are also some oddly constructed sentences which can be distracting.
The website itself is pretty, easy-to-navigate, with eye-catching artwork, so no complaints there.
Overall: despite the various problems I’ve mentioned above, Phantasia is an entertaining read. The setting is particularly intriguing, and I think the author would do well to dig a little deeper and expand on all the ideas, rather than rushing through them.
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