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THE SMELL COLLECTOR

No title

Member: DanWeatherly
February 5, 2012

The Smell Collector is an odd bit of fiction.

Its central character, Jim Bronson, is fascinating in all his socially awkward, idiosyncratic glory.  As the title would suggest, he collects smells.  He’s fascinated with his olfactory sense and seems to devote the majority of his time working out the mysteries in everything he smells and determining the physical and chemical makeups of each scent. 

He’s a weird guy.  And that makes him fun to read.  But lest we get bored of his oddities, the author also tells his story from various other viewpoints, which allows for a little more humor and emotional impact.  I don’t think our hero Jim Bronson is very good at either humor or emotion.  But the story as a whole does pretty well with it.  It’s entertaining and kind of sweet.  Maybe "charming" is the most accurate word for it.

I think my only complaint is that The Smell Collector is slow to start.  The first few posts were like jumping into a freezing swimming pool . . . I was in shock because of how weird the narrator was.  But soon enough, the plot began to pick up and the other characters began to emerge and balance Jim out a little bit.  And now I’m hooked.

3 of 3 members found this review helpful.
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PRICE BREAKS AND HEARTACHES

No hook

Member: Joseph Kranak
January 31, 2012

There is a good bit of humor here and the story is written in an informal style, but it doesn’t grab my interest.

Especially with something like web fiction a writer needs a good hook early that grabs the audience early.  It could be a mystery, a compelling character or some sort of mission or goal.  This story lacks such a hook.  With a story like this, a sort of coming-of-age, comedy/drama, a strong goal/ambition/dream would work well.  For example, if this were a raunchy teen comedy, the goal of the protagonist in the prologue would probably be to lose his virginity at the end of prom night, or something like that (though something different might be appropriate for this story).  Such a goal/ambition/dream might also make the narrator more likable.  The narrator comes off as drifting and aimless, which makes the story episodic, and gives the reader less interest in continuing. 

The writer might also try to introduce and develop a consistent cast of subsidiary characters that the reader can really get to know.  From what I read here, minor characters seem to pop up and disappear all the time, and we don’t get to know them

2 of 2 members found this review helpful.
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FALSE MEMOIR

Quirky (un)true story

Member: Gavin Williams
September 29, 2011

I strangely kind of love "False Memoir" right now. 

There needs to be some editing done.  On occasion, the tense shifts from first person past to first person present, and there’s the occasional dropped word or typo.  These things are easy to fix.

But the narrative voice of the main character, Katherine, is funny and well-paced, even as she’s trying to gather information about Jack O’Lies, a reporter whose wife was murdered by a serial killer. 

(I have to confess, the first time I read the name "Jack O’Lies" I wondered if it was a villain’s name, like the Joker,—come on, Jack O’ Lantern?—but no, that’s just his strange, possibly Irish, surname.)

So far it seems like a well-written character piece and crime drama with some intrigue.  But what made me love it today (and we’ll see if that continues) is the asides—Katherine comes across as funny, noting absurd observations in her tone alongside the details.  But on top of that, there are links to other websites scattered throughout the text to add subtext, background and depth—as if the story is actually part of the larger world.

For example, when she wants to make a point about how there are few daily newspapers, let alone crime-beat reporters, she doesn’t link to a real article about how the Internet has caused a decline in paper sales.  No, she links to the Onion, and an article about how the decline in paper sales has been partially stalled because kidnappers like to buy the newspaper for pictures with victims to prove that the date is accurate and the victim is still alive.  It’s absurd and silly, and yet also dark.  And I think that link shows the kind of sense of humour and tone the author herself has, and that says a lot about where this story might be going.

Dark, funny, clever, and a little twisted.

So far, so good.

3 of 3 members found this review helpful.
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