the_author() rating onrating onrating onrating offrating off


I think it might be interesting, but then I went blind.

By capriox, member

Feb 28, 2010: I have a huge problem with this author’s formatting, just like I did for his other story. Although this time it’s a consistent format, it’s literally a wall of small font text with no line breaks between paragraphs or anything else to make it easier to read. Just glancing at it gave me eyestrain.

Although I refuse to read the whole thing until it’s been tweaked so as not to cause a headache after reading the first chapter, it does look like a promising story. I read the first several (long!!) paragraphs, enough to gather that the story is about a senior apprentice, Kyven, who’s just a year away from setting up his own crystal cutting shop. The dramatic problem is set up as we quickly learn that Kyven sometimes sees things that other people can’t. That’s as far as I got.

The background is a late medieval tech level fantasy with a nature-magic type of setting, slightly reminiscent of some anime magic systems.with references to alchemists, crystals, and mana. The writing is technically correct, aside from the formatting issues. So far there is a lot of info-dumping which is interesting, but doesn’t engage or excite me all.

It looks like an average fantasy magic story. If you have stronger eyes than me, it’s worth at least trying.

2 of 2 members found this review helpful.
Help us improve!  Request an invite or log in to rate this review.