Right at the beginning, the authors are creating a new captivating world where we are swallowed and moved to a industrial steam punk story mixed with mystery and a touch of magic. We can take part in the struggle between magic and science in a Victorian time line where the characters evolve through the action pack scenes. Although, don’t forget to pay attention to the details for they are the true master piece of this story. They will get you entangled in the life of the characters and make your brain work along with your imagination being pushed to a different level. Chapter one is not even ended that I am already waiting for more.
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"Small Town Ravaging" is an interesting trip between the worlds of reality and dream-like fantasy. While this tale shows the unedited slips of a first draft, the author has built in many interesting characters that has maintained my interest through nineteen installments.
At times, the travel between the many locations of "the Inner," is a little confusing. However, the action of the plot in these different locations keeps the reader grounded. The constant battle between good and evil is a common, yet most often successful, pull to readers. The destruction of the real world is balanced with the mystery of places unknown.
Having come this far with "Benny from Away," I find it impossible to give up on the story.
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The first chapter of "Small Town Ravaging" starts solid enough. The prose is decent, showing a couple of teens getting high in a shed from a hidden pot garden. The "garden" is hidden on a hill the rest of the town considers haunted because of frequent sightings of a Man who never approaches or walks away, but simply appears.
But, while the chapter starts solidly showing details and actions, it soon loses cohesion. Events happen quickly and abruptly, without a lot of connection, as if the author sees everything clearly in his mind but wants to skip to the good parts. The characters and details become snapshots to serve the plot, and so it becomes less and less possible to focus on what’s happening.
At first, in Chapter One, I could accept the story as it started rambling because it suited the protagonist Benny, feeling the effects of his first high. However, this disjointed narrative continued as other characters were introduced, and spills over into chapter two, where it gets worse.
Benny gets hypnotized by the mysterious Man and disappears to an Inner World where imagination matters. But the text’s lack of detailed focus makes it hard to enjoy what’s supposed to come across as surreal, and without a sense of direction the writing gets frustrating. The solid "showing" writing of the opening scene gives way to summarizations, exposition and "telling" the reader what’s going on, and this lack of concrete images and actions to tie me to the story’s "reality" makes it a chore to try to enjoy or comprehend the "surreality" of the Inner World. There’s no motivation to do so, because at the point that Benny starts wandering his imaginary plane, there’s no reason to care about Benny and what happens—because the artifice of "story" ends the suspension of disbelief so vital to great imaginative works.
I find that tremendously frustrating simply because the beginning of the story has better prose, until the author lets it slip through his grasp. Had that "showing" ability been maintained, the imagination at work here might have been able to show us a great story—and instead, the lack of focus means the potential gets wasted. This author has all the tools for good writing—but perhaps lacks the discipline to use it consistently. Hopefully that changes and then the potential will become realized.
Until then, it’s 2.5 stars for a small town I don’t want to visit.
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