When Lethe Bashar goes to Madrid, Spain for a semester of college abroad, he has no idea of the psychological roller-coaster he is about to embark on. 

A self-absorbed neophyte, with both naive and grandiose ideas about himself and the world, Lethe lands in a place that is so uncomfortable to him that one wants to jump into the novel and save him from himself.

In Lethe’s behavior and activities, the reader can feel deeply the suffering and pain of Lethe’s existence in Spain. At the same time, Lethe’s sensitivity and charm make you want to protect him, even from his own exaggerated and imagined horrors, and you find yourself being drawn to him on every page.

He is just so darn real in his observations of himself and like a sinking ship, knows he is going down but doesn’t know how to stop himself. His feelings are raw with emotion but somehow sweetened with his charm. His profound insecurities which are apparent everywhere, for example, walking to school where he envisions obstacles that "grow out of empty air," are so frightening to Lethe that he cannot continue his walk to school, and instead, sits down with an old man and his dog.

Anyone who has felt completely lost walking around in his own skin, will find himself in this provoking description of Lethe in Spain. The author is masterful in describing his fears and makes you feel his agony. He is deeply unhappy; a very troubled wanderer looking for an anchor in the wilderness.

Lethe focuses on his face and an imagined plethora of acne that only he sees. Even his psychiatrist sees no acne on his face, but for Lethe, the acne is real and is an excuse for hiding out in the Senora’s house which he eventually does instead of going to school. Lethe also compares himself to everyone he meets, always coming up short and inadequate.

He needs constant reassurance about himself, and God, don’t you know so many people like this, who drain your energy with their neediness just as Lethe begins to drain the energy from the Senora by hanging around her house all day, doing nothing.

Over and over again in the author’s writing, you see and feel the desperation in the character of Lethe Bashar. Will Lethe survive? I wonder . . . One is not sure especially after a failed attempt (even in this Lethe sees himself as a failure) to commit suicide in his bedroom. As the book continues, Lethe becomes more and more of a recluse staying in his bedroom at the Senora’s house or sitting on his balcony overlooking the people in the street who are going about the small tasks of living, something Lethe is totally incapable of doing without breaking out in a panic attack.

Lethe becomes quite satisfied to just sit and watch the world in front of him with detached interest. He becomes very content with this behavior and seems to have no desire to be part of the living forces of life. Nor does he seem capable of taking any real responsibility for his own life. He tells his psychiatrist to tell his dad everything; that he doesn’t care, thus turning over the worries of his life to his father.

When Lethe says to his school professor, "I don’t feel well," when he is still going to school, we come to learn what this really means. The detailed prose of the author lets us know that Lethe not only does not feel well; he is NOT well in a most profound psychological way. He engulfs himself in the protective walls of the Senora’s "cozy" house, at the same time, continues to see exaggerated and frightening images . . . 

"Flecks of garlic tumbled off her shoulders like rocks in an avalanche." He looks to the Senora, a sixty-five year old Spanish woman to save him from himself and puts all of his hope in her supposed wisdom and story-telling. But how long can THIS last for Lethe? And what is the reality in this?

Soon the Senora becomes tired of Lethe Bashar and his inertia, and eventually asks him to leave her house, at least during the day. I am wondering what will come next for Lethe Bashar. Where will he find his next safety net and security blanket? And what will that look like? I am anxious to read on.

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