overall 3 votes: rating onrating onrating onrating halfrating off
editor average: rating onrating onrating onrating halfrating off

Northern Heart by Chad Writtenfire

 

Northern Heart screen capture

Allen Delais woke alone one day on the edge of a vast forest, where all he had was the strength of his arm and a strange, divine mark above his eye.  His memories were elusive, inseparable from his dreams.  Luck landed him a position on a passing ship, and two years passed while he learned about the world around him and sailed the Aela on the rivership Dhara.  Eventually he lands in Rylar, the capital of the north, where he delivers a letter of commission from the Dhara’s captain.  The appeal of the Northern Guard’s tradition is strong, and hard-won skill at arms and a mind that takes easily to the tactics of battle have forged a place for him, but that place feels hollow.  His days are filled with labor and his nights are burdened by memories and questions that leave him restless through the dark hours and waiting for the dawn.

Creeping over the horizon, war threatens to take away all that he has built, and it brings with it the ghosts of his past–or perhaps they are more real than ghosts.


A serialized novel, updating twice weekly

Tags: ·

Listed: Jul 12, 2008

Other Listings in this section:
   « higher ranked · lower ranked »
   « newer · older »


more . . .

Recommendations

No reader recommendations yet.

Member Shelves

No relevant member shelves.

Have Your Say!

Register or log in to rate, recommend, review, or bookmark this story.

Note: You can monitor reviews for this listing with its review feed.

Vote for it on topwebfiction.com . . .


Editorial Reviews

rating onrating onrating onrating onrating off

Myth and Story

Editor: Sonja Nitschke
July 15, 2008

Just a brief note before I continue – A Northern Heart is a serialized novel still being updated.  This review is subject to change as the story grows.

I won’t lie—I had a difficult time getting past the first few chapters of A Northern Heart.  It wasn’t that the writing was poor, but because nothing really happened, even when Allen woke up in a different place.  To me, the story lacked drive, meandering along until it found its stride around chapter six—even so, I think that some of the prose could use a little tightening.

Once there, the narrative provides tantalizing glimpses of the world, as well as bits and pieces of its mythology.  Allen continues to grow as a character, and we learn even more about the world’s gods and goddesses.  The world is beautifully described and we are given glimpses of their political structure, military, and religion without it being “info-dumped.”

The author notes that chapters one through twelve are his earlier works which are not really up to par with the later chapters, and advises that we might want to begin reading at chapter thirteen.  This I found largely to be true and I hope the author will have time to rework the early chapters some day. 

Though I found the characters to be strong, I was a bit puzzled as I neared the end of the archives.  Throughout the first chapters of the story, Allen refers to his drawing fairly often – sometimes fantasizing how he would like to draw this or that.  Yet, somewhere in the middle, all such references to his art simply vanished.  I wonder if, in his new life, he simply does not have the time or the desire, or what happened to that part of him. 

Ok, now that the negative parts are out of the way —

The writing is beautiful.  Sometimes it’s poetic, sometimes its epic, sometimes it’s elegantly simple, but it is never bland. 

The myths are beautiful, and I hope that further aspects of their gods and goddesses will be revealed as the story progresses. 

When I finished the archives, I found myself wanting more.  And that, to me, is always a good sign.

1 of 1 members found this review helpful.
Help us improve!  Register or log in to rate this review.

rating onrating onrating onrating offrating off

It’s . . . thorough.

Editor: Donna Sirianni
December 28, 2008

I originally read this story back when the original chapters were up and I have to say, the writing’s vastly improved.  No more copses of doom.  (To those wondering, since I never reviewed this story on this site, it counts as a first review.  This is a rare technical exception to my "I don’t read rewrites" rule.)

[more . . .]

Most Helpful Member Reviews

No member reviews yet.

Your review

Register or log in to rate, recommend, review, or bookmark this story.