There is a good bit of humor here and the story is written in an informal style, but it doesn’t grab my interest.
Especially with something like web fiction a writer needs a good hook early that grabs the audience early. It could be a mystery, a compelling character or some sort of mission or goal. This story lacks such a hook. With a story like this, a sort of coming-of-age, comedy/drama, a strong goal/ambition/dream would work well. For example, if this were a raunchy teen comedy, the goal of the protagonist in the prologue would probably be to lose his virginity at the end of prom night, or something like that (though something different might be appropriate for this story). Such a goal/ambition/dream might also make the narrator more likable. The narrator comes off as drifting and aimless, which makes the story episodic, and gives the reader less interest in continuing.
The writer might also try to introduce and develop a consistent cast of subsidiary characters that the reader can really get to know. From what I read here, minor characters seem to pop up and disappear all the time, and we don’t get to know them
2 of 2 members found this review helpful.
Help us improve!
Register or
log in to rate this review.
Well, I just read the whole book again on my Kindle, and liked it even more the second thime around. (it costs like one dollar, or 2 dollars as an e-book, I think) I love the characters – I especially like how vivid they (my favourite has to be Mr. Scree). I love the world and how creative and realistic it is. And I love the story, which kept me awake a few nights.
Also – check out the illustrationson the website, I really enjoy them.
Can’t wait for the next one!!!
2 of 2 members found this review helpful.
Help us improve!
Register or
log in to rate this review.
This one’s a light, easy read—well-written and presented in short segments that will keep you turning the page. The prose is confident and polished, with just a hint of light humour. Reminds me a bit of The King of Attolia, in a very indirect way (the settings and stories are nothing alike). An entertaining, creative, fantasy romp. If you don’t mind rooting for the bad guy, I think you’ll find it an engaging read.
P.S. I read over 100 installments of it tonight.
4 of 4 members found this review helpful.
Help us improve!
Register or
log in to rate this review.