Excellent example

By tonenotvolume, member

Dec 14, 2012: While searching for online dragon fiction, I ran across this story. Haven’t gotten past the first chapter yet but shared it with my fifth grade class. Writer’s spend way too many hours of their time trying to be recognized and published in order to entertain their readers (and provide some joy). And to possibly make some money. Although I’m not an author, this chapter gave me an excellent example of an up-and-coming writer and the revisions needed to improve. Example one from page one – your body doesn’t react to a strange, unexpected view with a release of bile. Normally that would come from disgust, nausea, or being horrified. In this case, the scenario would elicit a different reaction. Next example also from page one – my readers were confused by the heath’s atmosphere . . . cloudy, but blue sky, but lightning on the horizon. I liked this because students understood how a writer’s experiences and a reader’s understanding have to match through the writer’s choice of words. We discussed and enjoyed this chapter, especially my young writer’s that write from what they know; young personalities and lots of dialogue.

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