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Editor’s First Impression

By Chris Poirier, editor

Apr 27, 2009: This note is based on a quick read of the prologue, 1st, 2nd, and 9th chapters. The dialogue is often painfully unnatural, with characters essentially narrating the backstory with their words. The narrative text itself isn’t bad—there’s almost a mythic quality to it, at times—however, the point-of-view shifts almost constantly, and there is so much narratorial commentary inappropriately scattered into the events of the story, that it just doesn’t hold together.

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