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The Zodiac Experiment by Alfie Rowland

Genetically engineered Teenagers with awesome powers. 

Lorie Temple thinks she is your average 17 year old girl until a string of strange dreams and a cryptic note inform her that there is nothing average about her. She is one twelfth of an illegal genetic experiment that has managed to escape the lab, but now her makers want her back.

Note: The Zodiac Experiment contains some graphic violence and harsh language.


A serialized novel

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Listed: Sep 3, 2014

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only a couple of stars in this zodiac

By Alexander.Hollins, member

Sep 29, 2014: The first update reads like the script to the opening of a tv show. And that’s not meant in a good way. We get an info dump from the main protagonist talking directly to us, explaining herself and her motivations. Massive info dump, very poor use of first person view, lots of run on and loose grammar, combine with numerous typos to make reading it a slog. EVERY tiny detail of action is outlined, like the author is trying to tie a movie script into dialogue, giving stage direction.

The concept seems interesting, and there are moments of prose where some actual talent when it comes to imagery and writing come out. But I just can’t keep reading like this. If the author reads this, I’d heartily suggest learning a bit more about show vs tell, move to third person instead of first, and get another pair of eyes or two on each update before posting.

I want to read more, I really do, but that first chapter was just too painful.

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